Bukan Mudah

It is not easy
There is no easy way.
Sometimes I lose my words.
Sometimes I break down and cry

It's not easy to put a smile on your face everyday
There is no one there to help you
Sometimes I build the high wall around me
Sometimes I run to my secret place

I told myself everything gonna be okay
I keep on reminding myself to forgive myself everyday
Because the guilt can eat you from inside and haunting you
Forever.

FEBRUARI

14 Februari 2010- Pertama kaki menjejakkan kaki di Auckland, New Zealand

13 Februari 2013- Lapor diri dengan MARA di Puskep, Lenggong dan secara rasmi menjadi ahli warga kerja MARA

27 Februari 2017- Lapor diri di MRSM SAS. Akhirnya pekeliling yang ditunggu tiba jua

23 Februari 2018- Mengiring pelajar ke MRSM Gerik untuk Kejohanan Silat dan Olahraga

Lotssss of love in February

puasa

bila belek-belek semula hp,

banyak gak gambar yang diambil sepanjang bulan puasa tahun ni.

so nak mengabadikan gambar-gambar tersebut
mari tempek di blog before delete kat hp ye...



yang ni gambar masa makan kat hotel promenade.merasa gak bukak puasa kat hotel kannn.thankss Dr Jefry sudi jemput kami (aku dan Anis) makan kat hotel sempena berbuka dengan anak-anak yatim.




ni dasar nak cepat dan agak malas.sup makaroni dengan ayam.hehe



persediaan memasak untuk berbuka puasa.menu apa ek.tak ingat laa..maybe telur dadar la kot.heh.


dalam mangkuk hijau tu ialah terung yang dihancurkan..lagi sedap kalau letak yogurt sebenarnya..

puding roti masak guna pemanggang ajaib.alhamdulillah ada benda ajaib penyelamat ni banyak mudahkan hidup aku.hikss.tambah lg non stick, lagi buat ahkak happy sangat.




terung bakar?or grill eggplant? entah lah.aku lumur dgn olive oil, salt, pepper kat terung tu.tup tupp masak.aku suka benda-benda gini.kena dengan tekak aku.hikss




ni step pertama buat puding roti.potong- potong roti campak dalam periuk.hee.sorry la gambar tak ikut turutan

 
mee meggi letak sayur carrot, cili api dan telur.layannnn masa bukak puasa

ni mood rajin buat potato salad, mashed potato dengan makaroni karbonara dan bolognaise untuk anak-anak homeroom tersayang.puas hati diorang makan licin sampai sambung lagi makan lepas prep.sanggup ketuk pintu rumah malam-malam even teacher dia dah tertidur

thank you anak-anak homeroom sudi datang ke rumah teacher,.ada 7 orang semuanya..

 

tumis sayur bayam, roti telur, kurma dan air yakult.nyumsss,

by the way..korang perasan takde nasi kan?
itulah aku.tak suka sangat nasi-nasi ni masa berbuka.heee

No No No No November

Hai.
Konon drama la tu tajuk post ni.
Kekeke.

Takde apa pun sebenarnya.Saja nak cakap dah masuk November.
Rasa macam tak percaya umur dah 26 tahun 5 hari..lagi 4 tahun nak jejak 30.oh no.

Apa yang nak update ek.

Sekarang suka tengok TV series Castle, Forever, The Mentalist, Criminal Minds
The list goes on.Sejak ada Astro kat rumah memang mengadap jelah.banyak cerita best..terleka la kejap kerja yang menimbun.

oh ye.congrats All Blacks..berturut-turut jadi juara..2011 dan 2015..hihi..how time flies.

lagi 3 minggu nak balik semenanjung.hoyeh.kerja assignments UPSI semua ke laut..tak buat apa-apa pun lagi..

Heyyy..apa ni semua benda naik harga oiii..strehh la.hikhok..if harga barang-barang naik lepas tu gaji naik banyak every year ok jugak.. T__T

hampir setiap hari masak di rumah.alhamdulillah..jimat dan berkhasiat gituhh..tapi menu biasa-biasa je..rebus,sup, tomyam,goreng repeat semula.hahaha..

Dinner Form 2 hari tu..dengan anak-anak homeroom..meriah la dengan kambing golek lagi.nyumsss sungguh laa..tahun depan depa ni amik PT3 pulak..kejap je masa.

okeyy..

nak sambung marking paper menimbun okes..huaaaa

sembilan

bertabah jugak la aku tahun ni dengan form 5 SPM dan form 3 PT3 sekaligus.hamek ko.hiks.
actually, aku suka je ajar IGCSE ni..silibus okey je.cuma aku risau budak-budak yang slow learner kureng sikit minat dengan format tu..but, I take it as a challenge. hari-hari fikir macam mana nak bagi students suka Matematik. nak bagi diorang in love with Mathematics.hehehe.


so yeah.dah masuk bulan 9.cepat tak cepat jugak la masa.kerja bertimbun-timbun.tak pernah nak surut.bukan merungut atau  mengomel.if tak ada kerja pun masalah jugak okey.so sila bersyukur anda ada kerja nak dibuat..

berdebar jugak nak tunggu result SPM form 5 tahun ni..hehe..cikgu pulak yang risau-risau.students rilek-rilek sahaja siap dah fikir nak pakai apa masa dinner nanti.hebat.

as usual, apa tujuan nak bukak laptop ni tadi..
kena taip surat jemputan mesyuarat Majlis Graduasi 2015.
orait,
tata

years.

I reckon it might takes years to build something new inside.

*eheh.kenapa tetiba nih?*

saja.
bila tengok kalendar tadi.eh eh..dah nak penghujung 2013 rupanya.
lepas tu terfikir, oh tahun depan 25 tahun.dah suku abad rupanya aku kannn~
teringat semula macam mana ek aku yang 5 tahun dulu.oh still buat IB kat seremban.
masa tu fokus nak terbang belajar pergi habiskan belajar dan dapat degree.lepas tu?
bila sekarang,fikir balik.how about 5 years from now?

jemputan walimatul urus dari kawan-kawan tak pernah putus kat facebook tu sejak zaman belajar kat Seremban sampai dah masuk fasa kerja ni.heh.

kadang-kadang aku fikir jugak, wow.awalnya diorang ni kahwin.masa belajar/baru kerja dah kahwin.untunglah dah ada duit nak kahwin..mak ayah boleh support bab financial kan or dah lama menyimpan nak kahwin kan..lepas tu dah ready mind set untuk kahwin..gua memang respek kawan2 yang kahwin awal ni..hehe..tahniah semua dan sorry banyak2 tak dapat pergi semua kenduri kahwin tu..

baru-baru ni pergi kenduri kahwin  sedara.tersempak dengan membe lama.sebaya pulak tu..wahh.anak dia dah dua orang :))) comel-comel pulak tu..

bila zaman belajar, orang sibuk duk tanya bila nak habis belajar.
bila dah habis belajar sibuk tanya bila nak kahwin.
bila dah kahwin sibuk tanya bila nak dapat anak.
bila dah dapat anak orang tanya bila nak tambah anak lagi.
lepas tu tanya bila nak dapat menantu, cucu etc.
heks.nak buat macam kan.dah memang culture kita macam ni.
tak boleh nak buat apa dah.

Lovely Logics

Make peace with your Past
so it doesnt spoil your Present

What others Think of you is
None of your business

Time heals almost everything
Give the Time, Some Time

No one is the reason of your Happiness
Except You yourself

Dont compare your Life with others,
You have No Idea what their journey is all about

Stop Thinking too much
its Alright not to know all the answer

Smile, you dont own
all the Problems in the World



p.s: semua words yang capital letters memang disengajakan

selamat hari raya

after a long pause and silence.
i'm back.

first of all, i wanna express my gratitude, thankfulness, gratefulness to the Almighty.
all praises to Allah.

Selamat Hari Raya to all.
raya kali ni sangat lain.teramat lain sekali.

rindu suasana beraya di Auckland.

dah start bagi duit raya.dah takde menerima lagi.

dapat makan rendang dan lemang sepuasnya.

dapat tengok gambar-gambar beraya orang-orang di Auckland.

jadi pengapit sepupu kahwin.i am really happy to see her beautiful smile.

banyak nak cakap.
sampai sini dulu.

"learn to appreciate what you have,

before time makes you appreciate what you had"

believe

"If you believe strongly in something,

don't be afraid to fight for it"

p/s: may Allah ease everything for me.amin.

sinar ini

bercampur baur

and yeah.wake up so early in the morning.sipping hot tea.alone.

class start in one more day.urgh.

excited?happy?stressful?anxious?all come in one package.

a lot of thinking.decision to be made.and other things that make me worry.

been listening to this one song since yesterday, over and over again.


what was said 
what was done  
as the time had a ride  
all the ways we could run  
all the things we could try oh my, 
could you tell me where this is going to lead?

and all the lights are shining on the sea  
as the rolling waves crash along the beach
 
and our minds were meant to sail  
take a rest from our thoughts 
take a break from this world  
and we'll feel miles away 
from the places that we used to be

i have hope and faith.

i close my eyes.and i know its real.

hold my hand.lets do this.

i put my trust on you.

Miles Away

We watched the light as it set from the sun
all the ways we could run all the ways we could run
oh my can you see the light from outer space

What was said what was done as the time had arrived

all the ways we could run all the things we could try
oh my can you tell me where this is gonna lead

and all the lights are shinning on the sea
as the rolling waves crash along the beach

And our minds were meant to sail
take a rest from our thoughts

take a break from this world
and we'll feel miles away from the places that we used to be

as we lay in the sand and we stare at the sky
watch the moon dance in white as the stars light your eyes
oh my there's no place on earth I'd rather be

and my this night just don't feel real
But I can feel your touch promise you won't let go

And our minds were meant to sail
take a rest from our thoughts

take a break from this world
and we'll feel miles away from the places that we used to be

Kasih Bumi

amaran: ini bukan tentang pencinta alam.
haha.

ini link untuk tengok cerita Kasih Bumi tu.huu~

banyak pengajaran tersirat.so, aku suka cerita ini.
hello, bukan sebab suka hero cerita ni.errr.iye iye.memang la suka.
tapi lebih kepada jalan cerita kot, walaupun ending cerita ni erm ermm.

okthanksbye.

selamat hari guru!

hai mama, akak curik gambar ni kat facebook cikgu ju kot tadi.

wah wah.sweet la kawan-kawan mama kat sekolah tu.

rindu plaks akak kat warga SEGAR.yelahhh. akak jadi akak kedai buku sekolah tu dalam 4 bulan gak kan.hahaha.terima kasih buat kawan-kawan mama saya yang celebrate birthday my mum.hihi~

terima kasih cikgu!
maafkan kami cikgu!
halalkan ilmu kami cikgu!doakan kejayaan kami cikgu!

am i?

the first person u remember as u wake up in the morning?

or

the last person u think of before sleeping at night?

or

both.

am i the one?

The love pirate, the treasure chest, and the sea of sorrows

copy paste from here

We all know.

We all know that somebody; whose his heart that is made of stone, ice and cold. Or maybe, he does not have a heart at all, we can never be sure. He was no bigger than an average human but, everywhere he crosses, a tidal wave of destruction was left in the wake.

His name is legend among the fearful and the hated. His story unsurpassed, unshakable as it is passed by murmur of those survived. But what do we know is that, he desires for the heart of gold, owned by maidens young and pure. Desire--more like a thirst, really—but he has that kind of insatiable thirst that even the universe cannot fulfill.

Thus then, he began his scheme.

The thieving of your heart.

That’s what I call the love pirate—when they come to your home and raid upon your chest, running away with a part of—if not all—your heart. He takes no heed of the consequences that would follow, only thinking of what’s satisfactorily fulfilling in his ship.

Sometimes he would give you a false sense of security, letting you onboard his ship—but at the time you least expected—will gut your hearts out for his to keep. And as he took your heart away, he pushed you overboard, to drown in at bottom of the sea of sorrows.

I know, as you lie undead—not dead, but not actually living either—in the bottom of your sorrow, you began to realize that jackass love pirate is not completely at fault. It was you too—if you hadn’t give the keys to your heart—the keys that keep your heart locked in your treasure chest—would he have easily taken it?

Why do you trust so easily?

Was it that little void in your heart that you think he’d fill?

Or were you clouded with all the glitters and gold he showered you as you were onboard his ship?

Keep your keys in a safe place next time, guard it with your life, or entrust it to someone who would.

Someone other than a love pirate, of course.

And to all of those love pirates out there, who on their enormous vanity would be reading this, I know—karma will come for you. For the more hearts you take, the more your soul fades away. And since soul is irreplaceable, the more your soul disappears, the weaker you’ll get. 

By the time you raided your last maiden‘s heart—you will be as hollow as an abandoned conch shell. And believe me one day, you will meet your match—a bigger, soulless female pirate who will burn your Black Pearl to the ground, and

You will sail no more.

fall into place?

What does "fall into place" mean?

• Could it mean something like things are going according plan? Or does it mean something entirely different?

• Is it means that things are working out just as you want them to, without a lot of effort on your part?

Fall To Pieces by Avril Lavigne is always be my all-time-favourite song since the very first time I listened to it.

#nowplaying click here

**************

warning: This is only my random thought.. I just feel like writing here in my blog.heuheuheu. =P

Things will fall into place, if you let it.

Again.if only you let it.

I believe everything happens for a reason.
Good or bad. Big or small. Everything that happens to you...
happens for a reason.

A lot of the time we ask ourselves why certain things have to happen to us, or maybe why things have to happen to other people.

Sometimes we sit around wishing things would happen, but we don't put in enough effort.
Sometimes we do everything in our power to make things happen, but they still don't .
and it frusterates us.
Again, everything will fall into place, if you let it.


This doesn't mean we will sit around waiting for every good thing to happen to us.
We need to put in at least some effort and stay positive for good outcomes.
We need to keep hope and faith alive.
We need to believe in ourselves and believe in others.
We need to learn how to love ourselves before we can love others.
We need to serve others.
We need to be true to ourselves and learn how to trust others.
We need to have faith in God, that he is there for us every step of the way and know that he is leading us on a path that will help us grow.

**************

If there is anything that causes fear or doubt, pray.
When you don't feel like praying is when you need it the most... even if you think you are perfectly happy.

I bet you have felt like God gave up on you or that you are not worth his time.
Guess what? He loves you. I've had these same feelings numerous times before.
Want to know what caused these feelings and thoughts?
Selfishness. Carelessness. Sadness. Fear. 
Doubt. Anger. Frusteration. 
God never gave up on me. He was always there and is always there.
I was just too blind in the heart to see/feel it.


This is where effort needs to take place. You are in control of your thoughts.
You choose how you feel and you choose how you react to things.
With faith, anything is possible. I promise you.


These past few days,weeks, months or years have definitely been a learning experience(?)
I've felt plenty of stress, anxiety, fear, anger, frusteration, doubt, and helplessness.
I caused a lot of bad things to happen, because I didnt care enough and I lost hope.
I let one bad thought take over, then I let more bad thoughts appear. I reacted to each of them the same way. I couldnt stop one thought, because I told myself I couldnt. So I believed I couldnt. It was a neverending pit of bad thoughts I dug myself into.

Another thing I learned  is that you cannot let another person define who you are.
This was probably the hardest thing I had to learn and I am still learning from it.

You cannot make another person happy if you cannot even make yourself happy.
You can care about someone and try to help them, but if you cannot take care of yourself, it will not work out in the long run. No matter how much you want it to. 

Work on yourself everyday, but serve others as well.
Find happiness in helping others.
Find happiness in things you enjoy.
Find true friends that will care for and support you.
Ones that wont pressure you into doing something you don't want to do.

The people that matter the most dont mind, and the people that mind dont matter.

I learned that we cannot hold onto everything.
Let me put it this way...If we force things to happen and if we are making ourselves unhappy by trying to make something happen, then its probably not supposed to happen...at least for the moment or time.

I learned that we need to love who we love, and say that we do.:)

I learned that we cannot give up when things don't go the way we want it to.
We need to have hope every. single. day., even on bad days. When we fall we need to pick ourselves back up and try harder next time.

We need to move on when we are ready or when the moment is right.
Sometimes we never want to let go because we want to prove something.
When you can fully let go of something, no matter how much it hurts at first, you have already learned a lesson and you become stronger emotionally.



I've learned that time heals everything.

Dream On

by Aerosmith

every time that I look in the mirror
all these lines on my face getting clearer
the past is gone
it went by like dusk to dawn
isn't that the way
everybody's got their dues in life to pay

yeah, I know nobody knows
where it comes and where it goes
I know it's everybody's sin
you got to lose to know how to win

half my life's in books' written pages
live and learn from fools and from sages
you know it's true
all the things you do, come back to you

sing with me, sing for the years
sing for the laughter and sing for the tears
sing with me, if it's just for today
maybe tomorrow the good Lord will take you away

dream on, dream on, dream on,
dream yourself a dream come true
dream on, dream on, dream on,
and dream until your dream comes true
dream on [7x]

two years ago

haha.saja mengimbau dua tahun yang lepas.
tarikh yang sama pada hari ni, 14 febuari 2010.
lokasi: KLIA



okey.sekarang dah tahun akhir.
cepatnya masa (?)
all the best rakan-rakan.
semoga segala urusan kita semua dipermudahkanNya.
amin.

;)

I need to rewind myself
Lookin for the payback
Listen for the playback
They say that every man bleeds just like me
And I feel like number one
:: Kid Rock-Only God Knows Why


That one last shot's a Permanent Vacation
And how high can you fly with broken wings?
Life's a journey not a destination
And I just can't tell just what tomorrow brings
:: Aerosmith- Amazing

'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
:: Seether (feat Amy Lee)- Broken